The mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest conflict resides. It’s where half the things you feared would happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations get the best of you, and you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again.
What’s one thought that has been getting the best of you lately? How has it been influencing your behavior?
It comes in doses and waves, but something that often bothers me, even itches at me, is the thought of not being good enough. We all get in that stage every so often, when the self-doubt monster creeps into ours minds; and the fear of being left behind. And not only in a physical sense, of seeing people leave, or not having people around who value us, but the big bogey monster of feeling inadequate in life.More often than not find myself comparing myself to other people. It's a human thing to do and most of the time I ground myself and cut the crap of holding myself to other people's standards. But there are other times, when, you know, you just can't help it.
"I'm not as smart..."
"I'm not as pretty..."
"I'm not as kind..."
"...not as good..."
"...not as..."
That little sub phrase: not as
It's the source of a lot of self doubt. It weighs me down more often than I would like to admit. It's the backbone of every reason I've ever had to not believe in myself, or to try, or to "not bother". It's the reason I've held myself back more than anyone else.
Whenever that phrase leaves my lips, or enters my mind, those two words, not as, I instantly have the thought of "why should I try if I can't reach that level".
Two things wrong with that already: 1.) thinking I can't, and 2.) thinking I need to reach that level, whatever that level may be.
We all want security in who we are, we all want confidence, and to feel good about ourselves. We don't need to be "better" than someone else in order to achieve those feelings of security, confidence, wholeness.
I could think "if I was better than so-and-so, that means I'm one of the best at X". I could think "if I lost the weight, I could be pretty and get attention like so-and-so". I could think any variation of that, but it would only bring me down. I am certainly not saying to not have goals and aspirations. I'm talking about counting myself out before I even start or thinking I need to reach someone else's expectations or standards in order to feel good or secure in who I am.
I try to live by the saying "I only compete with myself." The only person I want to be better than is the person I was yesterday. With that I always remind myself to cheer for myself, too. And not just remind myself when I don't meet certain expectations.
With that, happy Thursday everyone, and I hope you cheer for yourself today and believe you can do what you set out to do.
-Chelle
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31 Day jounraling prompt challenge, inspired by Jeremy Anderberg (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/jumpstart-your-journaling-a-31-day-challenge/)
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